48.

a white satin detachable scarf-color and a little blue velvet hat to match. The blue was the deep rich blue of Crater Lake and the suit is very feminine and attractive. We shopped, walked around and in the late afternoon drove home.

After we had arrived at Frank's house we sat outside in the car awhile and reminisced over the weekends happen- ings. I was now better able to look back at the previous night's dance more objectively and to consider how I had felt and why. I told Frank that never in my life had I experienced this sensation before. It was the most com- plete relaxation from the presence and problems of SELF that I could imagine, I had not merely adopted the fem- inine role as an actor might, nor yet in the way that I myself usually adopt it when going out shopping or to church as a woman. It was much more than that. .it was a complete severing of ties with my ordinary self, not just in clothing and mannerisms, but actually in personality. As a man I am aggressive, active, talkative, logical, keen and accustomed to solving problems, making decisions and taking action on them and accepting responsibility from them.

But Mrs. Frank Jackson was done of these. I gave my- self over completely to my husband....he led, made decis- ions, took action and controlled the situation. I was his little wife, he would take care of me, I knew it and I didn't have to worry about things myself. I don't know whether anyone else can understand this, but the release from having to be me and the kind of person described in the previous paragraph was so great that even in discuss- ing it with Frank the following night I burst into tears. Partly from the depth of the emotion released within me by delving into the matter and partly out of the heartbreak ing thought that I had had this peace for such a short time and that tomorrow I would have to resume my usual person- ality. I feel sure that there is a significance in this experience not only for me but for others but I find it difficult to express. I shall, however, be eternally grate- ful to my "husband" for enabling me to experience it.